Five Birthdays - H/F - Birthday Five
Jun. 5th, 2011 06:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
indigo_angelsHannibal slumps further down into his chair as he watches the sun go down, all alone, from his spot on the deck. It’s Face’s birthday today and for the first time since Murdock invented this sweet little routine, he hasn’t even spoken to the kid.
He rubs the stubble on his chin and stares absently at all the empty beer bottles spread out across the deck, evidence of his day’s activities, as he wonders where Face is today, if he spent his birthday with Murdock or BA, of if he just spent it all on his own. Hannibal hopes with all his heart it’s not the latter. If he did spend it with the guys, then Hannibal would be the last one to know, they aren’t speaking to him, haven’t done at all in this last month. They blame him for Face leaving like he did, moving out into his own little apartment. Hannibal should be pleased really that Face is feeling confident enough to move out and live on his own like this, but he isn’t, he’s just too busy wondering what the hell went wrong with them and how he could have maybe fixed it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Face moved into his bed on the night of his last birthday, and Hannibal had been more than pleased at the feel of that warm length wrapped around him night after night. It never went any further though, nothing even remotely sexual happened, apart from Hannibal making sure that his damn stubborn hard on was well hidden every night and every morning. He wondered if Face would ever feel like he was ready for a sexual relationship, maybe Ortiz had taken that from him for good, or maybe not, but whichever way it went, Hannibal was just happy to have the man he loved safe in his arms night after night.
For almost a year life was good. Once Face moved into Hannibal’s bed, his confidence seemed to grow exponentially. Within weeks he was going out on the bike by himself, two months after his birthday he was sparring with the team and had also started kick boxing. Three months later Hannibal decided it was time the team started taking on full missions again, and another four months after that, Face finally felt he had enough material together to pursue the compensation claim against the US army in an effort to finally clear the last slur from their names.
But then, last month everything had gone drastically wrong.
It had started off as just another ordinary day, but then Face had become more wound up and anxious as the evening had progressed. Hannibal had tried to ignore him, he’d asked what was wrong, been given the snappy, nothing and decided to let things lie, thought that Face must just be tired, feeling the strain of all the extra things he was doing now.
But then just before ten pm, Face had stalked into the lounge where Hannibal was reading and demanded to know if Hannibal wanted to tell him something. Hannibal slid his reading glasses off his nose and looked up, more than slightly confused before telling him no, that everything was alright. Them the anxiety building with every passing moment, Face pulled an envelope from his pocket and threw it at Hannibal asking what was going on.
Hannibal remembers looking at the envelope in confusion. It was a letter off their old friend Dr. Maggie Sullivan. She’d helped the team out a couple of time back in the early days, especially when BA had been shot and she’d stayed in touch ever since. She and Hannibal had shared little more than a kiss once, but nothing had really come from it, she’d not really been his type.
“It’s from Maggie,” he told Face, frowning in confusion, “You remember her? Doctor? Black Rock?”
“Hannibal! I remember her!” Face seethed, “How could I forget?” Hannibal’s frown deepened. “So,” he demanded, arms folded across his chest, “is she coming to stay then?”
Now Hannibal was truly confused. “No, Face,” he told him patiently, “she was just sharing a bit of news that’s all.” She was actually getting married, had invited them all to the wedding, but Hannibal kept that to himself for now, there was no way of knowing how Face would react to the thought of a big public event like that.
“Right,” Face looked slightly deflated, but the tension and the anxiety were still in his eyes and his body. “So, you are not seeing her yet, but you might be soon?”
Hannibal tilted his head to look at his lieutenant, wondering what the hell was really going on here. “Yes,” he agreed, “I’m not seeing her now but I might see her later. Is that a problem for you?”
“No!” Face snapped turning on his heel, “Fucking course not!” and he stormed out of the door.
“Where are you going?” Hannibal shouted after him.
“Bed!” Face yelled back. “That okay with you?”
Hannibal had just stared after him in confusion.
~~~~~~
An hour or so later Hannibal turned in for the night as well and was relieved to see Face laid in his bed again, he still wasn’t sure what had got the kid so wound up like that, but knew that if he’d gone off into his own room again then they would be straight back into the nightmares and terrors.
Hannibal could tell that Face was awake but also that he was determinedly ignoring him, so he decided to play along and got ready for bed in silence, making sure, just like every night, that he was wearing underwear underneath his pyjamas. The last thing he wanted was Face getting wind of his hard on in bed...
He gently slid into bed and moved towards the middle making himself available should Face want to come and lie next to him, and then he tried to relax, willing the tension of the day out of his system.
Suddenly he felt Face move and before he knew what was going on the duvet had been pushed back and the kid was up on his knees on the bed next to him. Hannibal could see from the light coming in through the curtains that he was completely naked and he turned to present his ass to Hannibal, tipping himself up in the air, clearly making an offering, while one hand reached back to find the front of his boss’s shorts, stroking insistently the growing bulge he found there.
“Jesus! Face!” Hannibal hissed snapping to his senses all of a sudden, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“What do you think?” Face replied in a voice that sounded like it was straight out of a very bad porn movie. “Why don't you let me show you what I can do?” he purred and Hannibal was out of bed at the speed of light.
“Stop it!” he snapped having the sudden uncomfortable feeling that he had just had the tiniest taste of what had been on those DVDs.
“You don't need her,” Face had insisted, following Hannibal out of bed and tracking him across the room, “I can be anything you want me to be, give me a chance, let me show you how good I am.” His hands were all over Hannibal, touching, squeezing, but it was the dead look in his eyes, the emptiness that literally made Hannibal want to vomit.
“Who?” he whispered, pushing Face’s hands right off him and still feeling completely out of the loop.
“Maggie!” Face told him as if he were stupid and one hand tried to push its way into Hannibal’s shorts where Hannibal knew damn well he would find his shameful erection and then the game would be up. “Look, is this because I’m not hard yet?” Hannibal heard Face asking, “’Cause I can do that you know, make myself hard, just for you, while you watch, I’m good at that, always the quickest, you want to see?”
And something in Hannibal just broke. The evidence, right in front of him, of what Face had been through in those missing months, the humiliation and sexual torture that the kid had endured, the conditioning that ran so deep and the long, long way that he still had to travel before he was free of Ortiz, combined with those teasing fingers creeping ever closer to his hard cock just made him snap and, without a single thought, he lashed out.
His fist caught Face in the side of the head, a crushing blow that knocked him off his feet and into the night stand, jarring his ribs as he fell and leaving him curled up on the carpet struggling for every breath. Hannibal stood and stared in shock, eyes wide open, gaping in horror at the heinous act he had performed. No one in the whole world had suffered more than Face; no one deserved love and protection more. No one was as damaged and vulnerable, but still Hannibal had hurt him.
He took a step in, his hand reaching out to the huddled figure on the floor, but Face just cringed away from him. Hannibal froze, it was a move so horribly reminiscent of those dark days over two years ago that Hannibal just panicked, scared out of his wits that his one rash act had sent the kid spiralling back into the abyss. Without a word he turned and fled from the scene, running out of the room and out of the house before Face had even managed to drag himself up onto his feet.
By the time he had come to his senses and returned to the house, Face, his clothes and his Victory were all gone.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hannibal shifts on the decking and looks up at the stars. It took him until the next afternoon to find that Face had gone to Murdock’s and that Hannibal was officially persona non grata with the rest of the team, but he didn’t really care. All that he could think about was the fact that Face had gone, that Hannibal had hit him and driven him away. After everything they had been through together, Hannibal had driven him away...
So, what now? He finds it hard to care when all he has thought about for the last five years is Face and how he can make his life better. There doesn’t seem to be a point to this life anymore. He moves in his seat and then the next thing he knows is he is face down on the cool decking, the chair tipped up next to him, empty beer bottles rolling about all over the place and he decides to just go to sleep.
He can’t have been sleeping long, it’s still dark and the stars haven’t moved much when a warm hand shakes him awake. “Boss? Hey, boss, you okay?”
Hannibal blinks blearily in the dark and sees Face looking down at him; the bruise on his cheek all healed now, his blue eyes intense.
Within minutes he’s back in the house, propped up on the sofa, a black coffee in his hand and all he can think about is how Face must have been working out if he managed to haul his drunken ass back into the house on his own.
“Hey, boss,” Face is frowning as he comes back into the house with all the bottles in his arms, “you been hitting the beer pretty hard, then? I can’t get these into the recycling bin.”
Hannibal just shrugs, what if he has?
He hears the bottles clunked away somewhere and then Face is back, sitting opposite him on the other end of the sofa, watching him carefully and Hannibal just has to turn away, hide in his coffee as he wonders why Face has even come here.
“I’ve got some news for you,” Face eventually offers and Hannibal wonders if he read his mind. “I had a call today from my case officer at the FBI,” Hannibal looks over in concern, he’s always been terrified that they would try to get Face to testify against Ortiz; Hannibal knows that doing that will tip the kid right back into the mire again. “Ortiz is dead,” he states instead and Hannibal is shocked almost back to sobriety.
“How?” he mutters sitting up a little straighter.
“Another prisoner while he was on remand,” Face shrugs, “seems the guy wasn’t all that popular.”
They sit in silence for a few minutes as Hannibal tries to figure out how this will make Face feel but he can’t, it’s confusing enough to try and work out his own feelings.
“Are you pleased?” he asks instead and watches as a million different emotions play out over the kid’s face.
“Maybe,” he says eventually. “I mean it’s nice to sleep at night without worrying he’s going to come back for me... and I’m glad I don't have to give evidence against him, but...” he smiles a sad smile, “it would have been nice to face him down just once and walk away with my self-esteem intact.”
Hannibal understands how he could want that; all Hannibal had really wanted was to stand and watch him die.
“Well,” Face gets up, “I thought you’d want to know, you know, after everything...” he tails off and Hannibal can see the embarrassment in his eyes. “Bye, John.”
“Face!” Hannibal is on his feet, gripping the back of the chair to stop the swaying and he looks Face right in the eye as the kid turns around. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “for hitting you that night. I had no right, I’m so sorry.”
Face returns the stare for the briefest of moments before the sad smile is back. “Don’t worry,” he takes another step away, “I was right out of order. I misread the signs, boss, I’m the one who should be apologising.”
Suddenly, weeks too late, things start to click into place for Hannibal and he grabs Face’s arm as he turns towards the door once more. “Temp,” he whispers and Face looks at him, confusion in his blue eyes. “I was never interested in Maggie you know, never, she’s not really my style, far too feminine for me...”
Hannibal sees the double take in Face’s eyes quickly replaced by the doubt, “But boss, you weren’t interested in me, I could see that. The look in your eyes...” Face’s head shakes in embarrassment.
“No,” he whispers, needing Face to understand this, “it wasn’t you, Face that made me feel like that, it was the whole situation, it was wrong, too forced, too desperate, we weren’t ready for that, not yet.”
There’s a light back in Face’s eyes, “But one day? Maybe?”
“God, yes, kid, definitely.” Hannibal takes a risk and lifts his hand up to Face’s cheek, stroking gently as he looks into his eyes. “I love you, I have done for years now, you are all I’ve ever wanted.”
Face frowns at him, “But not yet, not now?
“Yes, in our house,” Hannibal tips a tiny light kiss onto his lips, “yes, in our bed,” he drops the kiss again, “and the rest will come, when we are both ready for it.”
“You don't think I am ready?” Face whispers, his voice naked and raw.
Hannibal shakes his head, “Have you ever made love with a man? You know, consensual sex? When you have really wanted it?” and then it is Face who shakes his head as Hannibal smiles at him. “Do you think you are ready?”
“No,” the answer is whispered.
“So what was all that about then, the other week?”
Face can’t meet his eyes and he looks down as Hannibal reaches in to stroke his cheek again, “I thought you were leaving,” the sad voice almost breaks Hannibal’s heart all over again, “I was trying to get you to stay.”
“I will never leave you,” Hannibal promises lifting Face’s eyes up to meet his own, “and you never have to be like that with me, do you understand me Temp? Never. Never.”
Face nods and leans in, letting Hannibal tug him close and tuck him into the space under his chin.
“Will you sleep in with me?” Hannibal asks, his voice timid in the night and Face doesn’t hesitate.
“Of course,” he whispers and he feels the smile as it curves against his head.
Fin - so Face isn't 100% fixed and he's never going to be the man he was before, but really how could anyone after that? But he is getting better all the time, so who knows how far he will come? :)
~~~~~~~~
If you have read - I would love you to review...
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no subject
Date: 2011-06-05 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 02:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-12 08:55 am (UTC)And WOW!!! Just WOW!!! The major ANGST!!!! Poor poor poor Face AND Hannibal!!! OMG the love the whole team has for their Lieutenant during so many years! That torture must have been...been ...OUCH!!! Love Murdock!!! The way he just KNOWS what to do for his friend! And Hannibal reading Harry Potter hahaha I just can see that! Absolutely stunning story, including the unexpected end where the Boss actually hits Face...that was even more OUCH! I restrain myself and don't ask for a sequel for this as well since I know you have a lot on your plate already :D:D
no subject
Date: 2011-06-12 08:34 pm (UTC)And I suppose its a lot of what we don't know that makes it so harrowing.
Sequel?? I will one day come back and see how they are getting on, maybe I will make that a fluff piece... I never can manage fluff, it always ends up angsty, but I think these two have had more than their fair share of angst!!!!
(And I prefer finished stories too!!! :D )
no subject
Date: 2011-06-13 06:40 pm (UTC)Before this fandom, I NEVER read WIPs! But here it's way way too tempting!!! (But I had never been a member of a meme group before either.)
As you may have noticed, Manipulation was tempting too for me ;)