Possession Part Two - Hannibal/Face

[indigo_angels]

I was ten minutes behind him, wearing the shirt and trousers I’d bought that afternoon and a fucking stupid brown wig. I hated wearing wigs, but ended up doing it more and more as time went on, only one of the downsides of going grey early, it’s so bloody distinctive. Especially in a covert job... or a club, I mean how many grey haired guys go into a gay bar to pull? It was either a wig or a hat, and I’m sorry, a hat is just too Village People.      

 

There was actually a queue to get into ‘Sharp’, but I didn’t mind that. Busy, and I could blend into the background, quiet and I’d probably walk straight into the kid the second I went in.

 

It was still sunny out there on the sidewalk, but the second I stepped through the doors it was like entering another world, a world I thought I’d left far behind me.

 

The music was so loud it thumped right through my sternum and I could see guys all around leaning so close together and still having to shout to make themselves heard over the din, but then, this wasn’t the kind of place you came to for the conversation... There was the same smell of smoke, alcohol and semen about the place that I’d smelt on Face last night; the smoke from dry ice machines pumped out all over the place, hiding god knows what going on in dark corners. My heart started to pound in my ribs, I never thought I’d set one foot in a place like this ever again in my whole life.

 

It took me all of twenty minutes to decide that Face wasn’t there and I headed straight for the exit and the next bar on my list. I’d kind of expected he wouldn’t go back to ‘Sharp’ for a second night so it wasn’t any huge surprise, and anyway, I knew where every single gay bar in the whole damn city was, and if I had to go to all of them, I would, even though I really, really hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

 

In the end it took two hours and five bars before I found him in ‘Kinks’, leaning up against the wall at the side of the dance floor, talking to some random guy half hidden in the shadows, and that’s when I spotted what should have been a fucking obvious flaw to my plan.

 

The plan said I would watch him, check out what his intentions really were, coming to a place like this (as if there had ever been much doubt about it) and then wander over, maybe buy him a drink and just see where it led. I’d never even considered that he’d already have found someone else, that that someone’s hands would be squeezing his arse through his jeans, that he’d be leaning forward with their fingers threaded through his hair and their bastard tongue down his throat. I never stopped to consider that it might fill me with a murderous rage, that I would have to grab hold of the railing at the side of the dance floor to stop myself from just going over there and ripping the fucker’s head off, that watching someone else touching, groping, my boy would be the single most repulsive thing I had ever seen... that I’d always, unconsciously, considered him to be mine.     

 

I rooted myself to the floor. Going over there and just fucking killing the bastard wouldn’t be such a good idea in such a crowded place, and my mind frantically tried to rework the plan.

 

It was just coming, a new, fluid plan involving fire alarms and evacuations and making sure I was damn close to Face when it happened, but then it was all thrown out of the window again when that bastard leaned out of the shadows to grab his drink from the table and I actually felt myself do a cartoon double-take.

 

Face is tall, 6’1” in his bare feet, but this guy had a few inches on him. Was built as well, not in a stupid, pointless, Arnie type way, but hard, lean muscles showing under the arms of his t-shirt - muscles that were actually used. His hair was dark, possibly black and cropped short, pushed over to one side. As I gawped at them like some stupid, lovesick teenager, he leaned in again and seized Face’s mouth with his own and I just bolted.

 

Apart from his hair, that guy could have been me.

 

The first shot of Glenfiddich from the hotel bar didn’t even touch the sides, but the second I made last, there was no way I was going to get drunk and make a fool of myself over this. Careful planning, that’s what it needed.

 

I sat back in my chair and stared into the lights under the water of the empty pool. I’d always made it my business to be honest with myself, if you didn’t know yourself inside out, how would you ever know how’d you’d react in any given situation? But my reaction tonight had unsettled me. Just what was it that had freaked me out?

 

Finding out that Face liked men? No, I’d never had any evidence to support it before, but thinking about it now, it was no real surprise. I knew Face liked sex, knew it was very different for him from love, and I supposed I’d always known that he would get it from anywhere he could, so no, no real shocker there.

 

So... and this is where it got a little uncomfortable, was it finding out that I liked him, far, far more than I should do? Maybe, but again, I’d always realised I loved him, I loved all the boys under my command, but it had been clear for a long time that he was special to me. The physical attraction then? Still no, I’d accepted that years ago, when it was highly immoral and probably illegal to do any of the things I longed for with him.

 

What did that leave me with then? Well, seeing it with my own eyes for one, that had been... unpleasant, but also... seeing his choice of partner. If I’d thought about it, what type of guy would I have pinned down for him? A male version of all his female conquests I guess; young, attractive, maybe not too bright, all false smiles and grooming products. Not the guy I’d seen him with tonight, older, plainer, far more ordinary than I would have given the kid credit for.

 

So what the hell did his choice mean then? That there was more to those long looks I sometimes caught him throwing my way? That it wasn’t accidental when he brushed up against me during the day? Or slept jammed against my side on a night? That his spectacular foul temper after that job we did in Louisiana had nothing to do with the migraine he claimed he had and everything to do with the fact he’d seen me saying goodbye to our female client a little more thoroughly than was strictly required? Maybe.

 

And if it did, did that mean I had a chance here with him? Old and plain and ordinary as I am? Bingo; found it. If that wasn’t a reason to freak out right there, then what was?

 

It was past three by the time I’d sorted it all in my head and made my way back to the room. Face was there before me, thank god, I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted if he’d still been with that guy. I slid into bed beside him, smelling the comforting fragrance of his shower gel still fresh on his skin.

 

“John?” his voice, slurred by sleep and pitched right down low, hit me in the groin.

 

“Yeah, kid, go back to sleep.”

 

He tried to rouse himself and lifted up on one elbow, “Where you been?”

 

Now wasn’t the time for this so I reached out and smoothed his hair, trying not to think of that bastard’s hand in it, “Lie down. It’s late. Go to sleep.” I felt him flop back down on the mattress next to me and lay on my side, watching his silhouette in the darkness, listening to him slip back into sleep as I indulged myself for once, enjoying the feel of his hair running through my fingers.

 

The next day was awkward to say the least. I tried to keep out of the kid’s way as much as possible. Every time I looked at him all I could see was him pressing himself up against that guy in the shadows surrounding the dance floor, could just imagine him surrendering himself to the moment, pushing his hard-on into the guy’s hip... It’s not hard to see why staying out of his way was just easier.

 

But nothing is ever that straight forward with Face. The more I tried to ignore the boy, the more he trailed after me like a lost kitten, just looking at me like I was a science experiment or something. He’d spent every damn day since we got to Phoenix around the pool, topping off his tan and flirting with anything in a bikini while I preferred the shadows with a beer and a book. But not that day though, oh no. Just as I was settling down at my preferred table he appeared like a bloody genie beside me with a quick “Hey, boss,” dropping his beer on the table next to mine and opening his brand new, ultra pristine, hotel shop copy of ‘Bravo Two Zero’.

 

Well that was my afternoon of peace shattered. It wasn’t like the kid even said anything much, but just having him sat there, right next to me, wearing nothing but his swimming shorts, scowling his way through a book I knew he would hate, was far too distracting for words.

 

In the end I couldn’t stand it any longer, “I’m going for a walk,” I told him, more snappish than I had intended it to be and his eyes flew up to mine.

 

“Right,”

 

He’d shut his own book and looked like he was planning on coming with me so I acted without thought, “On my own.”

 

He stopped with his hands on the arm rests, poised to push up and looked at me with his kicked puppy face, “What have I done, boss?” I stared back at him, “I mean it’s obvious that I’ve done something that’s really pissed you off, and you know I’m not good at spotting things like that, so just tell me yeah? And I can sort it out and we can get back to normal.” And what was I supposed to say to that?

 

‘Well, kid, you’ve been going out and getting laid with any number of random men and what do you want to do that for when you can have me any day of the week?’

 

Yeah, that would have gone down really well, maybe only slightly worse than my eventual response which was, “Just forget it, Face, it doesn’t matter.”

 

I could feel his eyes on my shoulders all the way round the pool and back into the hotel.

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