A Mother's Love - Part Five

Face opened his eyes and immediately flicked them over to the clock when he realised that Hannibal wasn’t with him. 9.30am, he couldn’t remember ever sleeping so long in the morning when he wasn’t injured. Or on painkillers. Or hung-over. Or recovering from a mission with no sleep. He shook his head as he swung his legs out of bed, rubbing through his hair in an attempt to shift his headache, man, was everyone’s life as fucked as his?
 
He went into the bathroom and relived himself, trying to decide if he should get showered or if he could stomach some breakfast. In the end he just went back to the bedroom and threw his running gear on; it felt like there was electricity running through his veins and he needed to get it out, a run seemed just the thing.
 
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He’d run much further than he usually did and the sun was high in the sky as he pounded up the last few hundred metres back to the house, his t-shirt rolled up in his hand, his whole body shining with sweat. Slowing right down, Face started stretching his legs out as he ran, cooling down a bit, easing off as he neared the end.
 
“Excuse me?” the voice cut right into his thoughts, and he realised, quite sheepishly, that he’d let his preoccupation of the revelations from last night blind him, that this could have been an MP stepping out on him like this instead of some harmless tourist.
 
“Yeah?” he stopped, yards from the house, breathing hard, hands on his knees.
 
“I’m so sorry to interrupt your run,” the woman was late forties, maybe more, long honey blonde hair, neat figure, map of the stars homes and camera clutched in her hands. Face glanced up briefly as she spoke and then away again, she wasn’t his type, despite his devotion to Hannibal, he still looked, couldn’t help it, but this woman was too made up, to poised and false to claim his attention for long.
 
“S’okay,” he replied easily, even with his laboured breathing, “you lost?”
 
“Yes,” she held the map out to him, “I am in the right area for all these houses?” she asked, touching the streets under her finger with a perfectly manicured fingernail.
 
Face smiled, “No, sorry, you are way off, in completely the wrong area. We are here, see?” his own finger joined hers on the map, “and you need to be way over here.”
 
“Oh,” she looked crestfallen, “I knew that taxi driver didn’t speak very good English...”
 
Shrugging apologetically Face took a step away from her to resume his run but she turned with him, bright smile across her face, “I don’t suppose you live near here? Perhaps you would drive me over?”  
 
Instantly alarm bells started ringing loud and clear in Face’s head and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up on end, expecting someone to creep up on him with a gun at any second. His easy manner disappeared in a flash and his eyes flicked around him, suddenly on full alert; he knew when someone was trying to pick him up, and this was not one of those times. “Sorry,” he said, his voice firm, “I don’t, no,” and then he turned, instantly crossing the road away from the team’s house and running, much faster than he had been, intent, only on drawing whoever was after him away from the rest of the guys.
 
As he ran, he pulled his mobile from the pocket in his shorts and quickly relayed to Hannibal what had happened. Hannibal was silent, absorbing everything he said before tersely telling him to keep going, to get away from the house and wait for one of them to call him.
 
Face kept the phone clutched tight in his hand and did as he was asked, taking a convoluted route through side streets and back alleys, crossing parks and wasteland, constantly looking over his shoulder for anything suspicious as he ran, glancing at his phone every few seconds and positively willing it to ring.
 
Eventually he found a quiet bench in yet another park and sat down, breathing much heavier now, his thighs feeling like lead, and waited.
 
Ten minutes passed before his phone buzzed in his hand and he answered it the same second, before it had even had the chance to register who was calling. “Yeah?” he knew the tension was clear in his voice.
 
“Relax, kimosabe,” Murdock’s soft drawl reached his ears, “everything’s fine over here, no sign of your mystery woman or anyone else suspicious, so the boss wants me to pick you up. Where you at, brother?”
 
Relief washed over Face like a wave, wiping away the stress and tension, and he dropped his head into his hand, “Thank god...” he whispered before mentally giving himself a shake and looking around him, “Salt Lake Park,” he answered, “You want me to walk down to East Florence and wait for you there?”
 
“Sure, I’ll be there as soon as I can...”
 
Face hung up and allowed himself five minutes, just five minutes to imagine all the horrors that might have happened this morning and then to be thankful that it wasn’t the army, or some crazed drug lord out for revenge, or the mafia, wanting them out of the way, before he wiped such defeatist and downright terrifying thoughts out of his head, and rose to his feet, letting them take him in the direction of East Florence Avenue.
 
Murdock found him sitting in a bus shelter, t-shirt, now damp and crumpled, back on and looking hot, tired and thoroughly pissed off.
 
“So, that woman?” he prompted as he slid into the passenger seat of the old Chevy that BA had bought as a discrete run-around for them, very much appreciating the air con and the cold bottle of water Murdock slipped him.
 
“She really was a tourist,” Murdock told him as he pulled back out into the slow lunchtime traffic, “Hannibal went out and followed her. She called a taxi, got it to take her to Mulholland Drive, got out and started taking snaps.”
 
Face finished his water, wiping his mouth dry with his hand, “So... what? She just had a really bad taxi driver, dropped her off on the wrong side of town?” He was frowning, knew that sounded unlikely to him.
 
“Big guy thinks she was probably ripped off, some guy out to take advantage of an out of towner,” Murdock was calm, eyes hidden by his aviators looking out at the slow moving traffic around them, but Face still thought the solution unlikely. He let it drop though; he trusted Hannibal, trusted them all, despite what had happened yesterday and what he’d told them. If they said it was safe, then it was safe. He let himself slide down in his seat and closed his eyes, his lack of food and sleep, plus the run across town suddenly fuelling his exhaustion.
 
Time passed and he knew he was drifting in his seat, possibly even right on the edge of sleep before Murdock spoke again. “Hey, Face,” his voice was timid, unsure, and Face screwed his eyes further together, he knew he didn’t want to have this conversation. “I’m sorry, man, for what I said last night. Really screwed the pooch, huh?”
 
Despite himself, Face laughed at Murdock’s choice of phrase, “Don’t worry about it,” he answered quietly, “you weren’t the one keeping secrets.”
 
Silence fell for another couple of blocks, before Murdock cleared his throat and Face cringed, here it was... “So. Your mom...”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“That’s – unexpected.”
 
Again Face smiled, “Yeah.”
 
Even with his eyes still firmly closed, he knew Murdock was looking at him. “You don’t want to talk about it?”
 
This time Face sighed, folding his arms across his chest and considering. Did he want to talk about it?
 
“I don’t know,” he eventually replied. “That depends on whether or not you are going to try and talk me into seeing her.”
 
“You don’t want to?” Face just shook his head tersely, “I don’t blame you, bud.”
 
That got Face’s eyes open and he turned to look at Murdock. “You don’t?”
 
“Nope,” Face could see the angry set to Murdock’s mouth. “She made her decision a long time ago, don’t think it’s right that she just gets to waltz in now and lay claim to you again.”
 
Face watched Murdock’s set expression as he took a left across traffic and then turned back, his own eyes drifting out to the window. “That’s not what Hannibal thinks.”
 
“It’s not Hannibal’s decision,” Murdock countered, quick as a flash. “It’s yours, buddy, you need to do whatever you want.” 
 
Picking up his empty bottle, Face started playing with the cap, twisting it back and forth in his fingers. “Yeah...” he answered quietly, a million and one thoughts spinning around in his head.
 
_________________________________
 
Hannibal was driving back from Beverley Hills after dropping Adele Armando back at her hotel with a flea in her ear after the stunt she had pulled on Face. She was surprisingly meek, offered very little explanation for her actions other than a fairly convincing, “I just wanted to see my son, Colonel Smith!” before turning and staring out of the window in silence for the rest of the drive.
 
As Hannibal pulled in to the front of the building to let her out, he leaned over and levelled her with his most intimidating expression, “You try that again, lady, and we will disappear back into the sunset taking Face with us. You got that?”
 
Her eyes were furious, but she simply nodded, and climbed out, slamming the car door hard before storming onto the hotel, ignoring the doorman who tipped his hat and opened the door for her. Hannibal shook his head and sighed before driving away.
 
He’d only gone a block before his phone started ringing, and, seeing who was calling, he pulled over at the side of the road. “Yeah?” he asked, ignoring the horns that were objecting to his stopping place. He listened in silence for a second before frowning. “You sure?” This time a shake of the head. “Okay, well, that’s great, thanks, we owe you one.”
 
He hung up and pulled back out into traffic, ignoring the motorist to his left who was yelling at him and flipping him the bird. As irritating as the concept seemed, it looked as if they were all going to have to get used to Adele Armando being around; the results of the DNA test had come back positive. 
 
___________________________
 
“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
- Lin Yutang
 
Face went straight up for a shower as soon as he got back, he was hungry and thirsty and had been intending getting something to eat, but seeing Hannibal and BA huddled together in a conference through the kitchen window put him right off that idea.
 
He spent a long time in the shower, and it was noticeable that Hannibal hadn’t come up to bang on the door and order him out – looks like the boss was giving him a wide berth for one reason or another, and that was just fine by him. Eventually though, even he conceded it was time to get out, so after towelling himself dry and yanking on his cut offs and a clean t-shirt, he took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet.
 
The smell of bacon and sausage hit him as soon as he was on the stairs and, turning into the kitchen, his empty stomach growled appreciatively at the spread set out over the table.
 
“Hey, Facey!” Murdock, resplendent in cook’s hat and apron, was just getting a dish of hash browns out of the oven and turned to throw Face a wide grin. “Knew you’d missed breakfast so we thought we’d have a breakfast-lunch, a ‘lreakfast’!”
 
“’Brunch’, fool,” BA grumbled from his seat at the table.
 
“Hey, kid,” Hannibal breezed in behind him, hand trailing familiarly across Face’s hips as he passed, “You okay?”
 
Face nodded, relieved that whatever conversations had gone on in his absence, it seemed that they were being dropped for now. Excellent.
 
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Brunch was a relaxed, drawn out affair, and by the time he’d finished eating, Face was actually glad he’d run halfway across town that morning, at least he’d had a chance to burn off some of the thousands of calories he’d just put down his throat. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his stomach gently as BA cleared the table, rolling his eyes at Murdock’s tale of woe from the supermarket shop earlier in the day.
 
“You a fool, man,” BA eventually put in, plonking a fresh pot of coffee in the middle of the table, the affection in his eyes belying the harshness of his words. “Everyone knows that ‘All items individually priced’ don’t mean each damn egg!”
 
“Yeah, well, I didn’t...” Murdock grumbled, “Musta checked through about two dozen boxes before that manager came to see what I was doin’...”
 
Face smiled, glancing around at his friends, enjoying this easy, relaxed banter, but freezing when he realised that all eyes had turned to him. His heart sank and he pushed his seat back, looking to make a quick exit before whatever was about to happen could even start to happen. 
 
“Face...” Hannibal’s voice stopped him before he’d even made it onto his feet.
 
“What?” he snapped.
 
“Don’t rush out on us here kid; we want to talk to you.”
 
Face fixed him with a cold stare, “Oh, and I wonder what it could possibly be about?”
 
Hannibal refused to get ruffled, “I think we all know, and you need to think about it properly.”
 
“I have thought about it properly. I told you last night what I had decided!”
 
“But, you haven’t talked about it with us,” Hannibal was calmness personified.
 
Face raised his eyebrows, “And I need to?”
 
“It’ll help you get it straight in your head.” Face opened his mouth again, looking like he was going to argue so Hannibal cut him off, “Still, your decision through, always your decision.”
 
Face sighed and looked from Hannibal’s earnest expression on to BA who nodded ever so slightly, and then Murdock, who shrugged and had the decency to look a little sheepish, flushing red at Face’s muttered comment of, “Et tu, Brute?”, before he sagged back in his seat, realising if he didn’t do this now, they would just keep going on and on at him until he did. “Alright,” he muttered reluctantly, “shoot.”
Hannibal and BA exchanged a quick look and Face felt savagely satisfied that he had been right in thinking they were talking about him when he got back with Murdock earlier on.
 
“Well,” Hannibal began quietly, “we thought you might like to know all the details we had from the meeting I made with your mother.”
 
Face tensed. Details? He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of those, the one detail that Hannibal had shared with him so far had knocked him on his ass already, he wasn’t sure he wanted any more. But then he saw Hannibal’s expression and knew the boss wanted to offload, would tell him someday anyway, so he just shrugged instead.
 
“Okay,” Hannibal took a breath. “Last week, we had a message left on the e-mail from a prospective client, said she wanted to meet, with only me, to discuss the case. I arranged to meet her in a cafe over in Santa Monica.”
 
Face frowned and Hannibal could see the instant worry in his eyes, knew he was thinking about safety, security and their policy of never meeting a new client alone. “Don’t worry,” he reassured him, “I took BA as back up, it was the day you two went surfing.”
 
As the panicked look in Face’s expression faded away, Hannibal continued, “Anyway, when I got there, she told me that she didn’t want to hire us at all, she wanted to see you, that she was your mom.” Hannibal paused but Face’s expression didn’t change.
 
“So, I asked her for some proof and she didn’t really have any. Said she had to leave everything behind when she left LA.”
 
Almost despite himself, Face leant forward, “She tell you why that was then?” he asked, his voice bitter.
 
“No,” Hannibal replied calmly. “She said she would much rather discuss that with only you. All she said was that circumstances changed and she had to leave LA. And you.”
 
Face crashed back in his seat once more, his arms folding protectively across his chest. “That’s it? That’s all she said? Circumstances changed? What the fuck does that mean?”
 
Hannibal met his stare head on, “I don't know, Face, why don’t you ask her?” but Face just rolled his eyes and folded his arms a little tighter.
 
“Anyway,” Hannibal continued quietly, “that’s all she said. She didn’t mention your father, said she was eighteen when she had you and that you’d lived together, just the two of you, for those first four years.”
 
Face turned and stared out of the window, knowing his eyes were bright with unshed tears and hating himself for this weakness she was exposing in him. He was thirty eight years old for christsakes, well, actually, no, thirty seven thanks to yesterday’s little bombshell, why the hell should finding out that he was an unwanted pregnancy, a bastard child, affect him like this? It wasn’t like the thought had never occurred to him in the past.
 
“Face?” Hannibal’s voice was gentle in the silence of the kitchen.
 
“What?” he turned back to meet that unwavering gaze, fully aware that they were all politely ignoring the brightness of his eyes and the roughness of his voice.
 
“So, lots of unanswered questions, hey?” There was a pause, a very rare Hannibal-Smith-is-unsure pause and Face closed his eyes in preparation. “Maybe you should meet her, just the once, give you the chance to ask them?”
 
And there it was. Face sighed. “No. Not at all, I’m not interested.” His eyes opened and fixed on Hannibal, “You’ve told me all I need to know.”
 
“You still don’t know why she left you,” Hannibal pushed.
 
Face unfolded his arms and leaned across the table towards his lover, eyes still bright, but now flashing with anger as well. “Isn’t that fucking obvious?” he spat. “Because she didn’t want me! Didn’t love me! You think I want to meet her just so she can tell me that to my face?”
 
Hannibal’s eyes shone with sadness but it was BA who answered first, “You wrong!” although Hannibal didn’t quite approve of the harsh snap to his words. “She loves you, man, why else would she go to the effort of trackin’ you down after all this time?”
 
For a second, BA’s words caught Face unprepared and he just turned to stare at the big man, his mouth slightly open.
 
“And she’s your mom, Face,” BA pushed on, “you owe her this!”
 
There was a second’s pause as Murdock shook his head and Hannibal rubbed a hand over his eyes before Face erupted. “I owe her?!” he yelled at BA, “How the fuck do you work that one out?!
 
“‘Cause she’s your mom, fool,” there was anger in BA’s voice now, “and you don’t disrespect your mom!”
 
Face started getting to his feet, “Yeah? Well, maybe if she’d ever fucking acted like one I might have-”
 
“Hey, hey, hey!” Hannibal and Murdock rose as soon as BA did, Hannibal’s hands on BA’s arm while Murdock had one hand on Face’s chest, the other on his back, trying to soothe him more than restrain him. “Guys, come on, come on, this isn’t helping! Calm it down a bit, right? BA?” BA reluctantly turned to nod at Hannibal before lowering himself back into his seat. “Face?” But Face just glared, even as Murdock continued to rub circles on his back.
 
“Come on, kid,” Hannibal reached across the table and took hold of Face’s wrist, thumb brushing over the veins hiding just under the skin as he continued to try and pacify his overwrought lieutenant. “Just calm it down. I know this is hard for you, okay? Really hard. I know...”
 
At last Face pulled his eyes from BA and turned to Hannibal and the two of them shared a look, so long and intense and obviously an entire conversation held in silence, that Murdock had to look away, feeling he was intruding on such a tender scene.
 
After a minute, he felt Face relax ever so slightly under his hands and he dropped back into his chair, turning to nod at Murdock while Hannibal slid his hand away and sat in his own seat. There was another pause as BA tried to look anywhere but right at Face and the clock ticked slowly on the wall, but eventually Face spoke. “So,” he let out a long sigh with his words, “that’s it? That’s everything you know?”
 
Hannibal met his eyes again, “Not yet, there’s one or two other things.”
 
Face folded his arms again and steeled himself. “Go on.”
 
“Your name, your birth name. She told us that.”
 
Face just stared at him, his expression blank.
 
“Would you like to know it?” Hannibal’s voice was soft again, as if he were talking to a frightened animal.
 
Again, Face just stared, but Hannibal could see the fear in his eyes, the real, desperate fear of finally getting some answers and maybe not liking what they were. Eventually he shrugged, just the tiniest movement of his shoulders.
 
Hannibal nodded. “Okay. It’s Daniel, Arthur, Ellis,” he paused to give Face a moment to take that in before moving on. “She calls you Danny, must have been the name she used when you were little. And her name is Adele, but she’s married now so it’s Armando, Adele Armando.”
 
The clock’s ticking was the only noise in the room as the three men watched Face as he continued to stare blankly at Hannibal, then suddenly he was on his feet again, so fast the chair tipped to the floor behind him. “I... I need to... go... now...” he took a step back.
 
In a second, both Hannibal and Murdock were standing as well, Hannibal’s hand reaching out for a wrist he couldn’t quite reach. “Wait, wait, kid,” he soothed, “just one more thing we need to tell you, and this is really important...”
 
Face kept his blank eyes on the boss, but Hannibal could see the tears that were filling them up more with every passing moment. “I told her I would talk to you,” he whispered to Face, trying to keep this quick, knowing the kid was close to losing it, “see if you would agree to meet her,” Face opened his mouth and Hannibal could see the protestations forming on his lips. “I know, I know, just listen,” he fell back into blank listening. “Well, so far I haven’t rung her back. But...” Hannibal cast a quick glance at Murdock before pushing on, “Well, it appears that she’s got a little fed up of waiting. That tourist outside today? That was her.”
 
There was yet another heavy silence as Face absorbed this news, before he turned his head to Murdock, the anger and betrayal clear through the tears still standing in his eyes.
 
Murdock couldn’t stand it, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, bud!” he grabbed for Face’s arm but Face yanked it back out of reach, “Hannibal told me I couldn’t tell you!”
 
“He’s right, I did.” Hannibal was more than willing to take the blame for his actions. “I knew you’d ask him and I didn’t want you running out on us again, kid, it’s not safe, you know that. I wanted you here in the house when we told you, so we could help.”
 
But Face just shook his head and took a step towards the back door; instantly BA rose to his feet and Hannibal moved, effectively blocking his route out.
 
Face stared at them both as the first tear slipped from his eye and rolled slowly down his cheek and into the stubble on his chin, “You have got to be fucking kidding me...” his voice was a harsh whisper.
 
Hannibal was resolute. “No kid, you’re not leaving the house in this state. You want to be on your own, that’s fine. Go upstairs, no one will bother you, but you’re not going out.”
 
“You don't trust me to come back?” the challenge was clear in Face’s voice, his posture, his eyes.
 
“I don’t think you are in the best frame of mind to keep yourself safe like this. That’s all,” Hannibal was trying his level best to be as diplomatic as possible. “Of course I trust you.” 
 
“Like fuck you do!” Another tear rolled out. “None of you do!” Face’s wild gaze ripped through BA and settled right on Murdock. “You’re all the fucking same!”
 
And then he was gone, turning on his heel and yanking the door behind him open, slamming it shut as soon as he was through. The three men stood in silence and listened to his feet as they took the stairs two at a time before there was another resounding slam of a door upstairs.
 
For a minute, no one spoke, until: “Nice work colonel, yeah, nicely done!” Murdock hissed. “I told you we should have left him alone!”
 
But Murdock’s only answer was the slamming of the back door as Hannibal turned and stormed out into the garden.
 
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