Motivation - H/F - Epilogue!

By the time Hannibal returned from taking Father Magill back to his hotel, it was already 10.30pm and he overheard plans being made to go to a club. Stifling an inward groan Hannibal automatically looked round for Face and saw him almost at once, reclined on a leather sofa, feet up on the coffee table, deep in conversation with Tosh. Hannibal’s stomach clenched slightly as he considered whether or not to head over. He certainly had no objections to Face hanging around with Tosh, Hannibal really rated the kid, was thrilled to hear he’d been snapped up by another unit, was shipping out to Africa next week, hopefully for a chance to get on away from Dougie’s shadow and all the rumours that had undoubtedly dogged him these last few months.

But, and Hannibal hovered awkwardly, the last thing he needed Face to be doing tonight was going over old ground with Tosh. As far as Hannibal was concerned, the matter was finished with. They had worked through Face’s guilt and shame over Dougie, his anger and frustration with just about everyone and everything in the world. There were still a few nightmares, still lots of insecurities, but Hannibal really didn’t want anything else reawakening. Just as he decided to go over and intervene, however, it seemed that his concerns were invalid as both boys suddenly collapsed in laughter, Face, tactile as ever, leaning into Tosh’s shoulder.

Hannibal smiled and turned away, leaving them to be young and just enjoying a night out and a few beers, just as they would have been for the past few months if it hadn’t been for that bastard McArthur.

Hannibal mingled for the next half hour or so as people started to drift on to the nightclub next door. He had no intention of going himself, and hoped Face didn’t either, not that he would stand in his way if he did, this was definitely the kid’s night. It was only when he saw Tosh heading out with a handful of others, not including Face, that Hannibal went looking for him again. He saw him near the door out, saying goodbye to a couple of civilians from the office who had headed over after to work to see him and Hannibal stopped, watching as he kissed each of them on the cheek, his face so earnest and sincere and Hannibal smiled as he saw the blushes on the women’s faces, both old enough to be his mother as they left.

 

But then Face turned and Hannibal’s stomach clenched again as that easy going, relaxed expression that Face had worn all night suddenly slipped and Hannibal saw exhaustion and pain wash across his features. In seconds he was at his side, holding him up even as he stumbled against a pillar and cursing himself for not thinking sooner how much this whole day would wipe the kid out.

 

“Home time,” he whispered firmly in Face’s ear as he steered him towards the door.

 

“Was gonna go clubbing...” Face murmured half heartedly and Hannibal chuckled.

 

“Not tonight you’re not kid, tonight you’re just going to bed.”

 

___________________

 

Hannibal drove them back to the little apartment overlooking the river that he’d been renting the last few months. Face was silent the whole trip back, slumped back in his seat, eyes closed, arms crossed as he tried to fold in on himself against the pain Hannibal knew was flaring in his head. It was hard sometimes for them both, when Face was so close to being ‘normal’ to realise that not everything was back the way it should be. In only two weeks, when the kid returned to work, Hannibal knew he would have to watch him like a hawk, order him to take it easy or they would be back at square one before they knew it. Russ had agreed to put this whole Alpha Team thing on hold for another couple of months, but Hannibal hoped he also wouldn’t send them out on anything just yet, would give Face the chance to get himself back up to speed slowly. It would break Hannibal’s heart to have to leave him behind on an op...

 

Within five minutes of getting back, Face was in bed. Hannibal had helped him undress and wash and use the bathroom before bringing his meds and some water and then easing him into bed, smoothing down the covers and stroking his hair back, trying to ease away the pain and let him sleep.

 

“You comin’ to bed, boss?” Face mumbled sleepily from behind closed eyelids.

 

“In a bit,” Hannibal reassured him, “Got a few things to sort out first.”

 

“I’ll wait up for you...” Face whispered and Hannibal smiled.

 

“Sure, kid, sure,” and within a minute, Face was asleep.

____________________

 

Sitting in the tiny living room with the fantastic views across the river, Hannibal sorted out the three things he needed to do before he could go to bed. First was to have a drink. He’d stayed on the water all day so that he could drive Father Magill and Face wherever they needed to be at any time; he hadn’t wanted to have to rely on taxis, but now, he was desperate for a whiskey.

 

Then, he needed to wait until his hard on had disappeared. Face was still really tense about sex, they’d tried on countless occasions over the past few months to try and pick up where they had left off after that one, incredible night. But, willing as Face always was at the start, it didn’t take long before he freaked out. Memories of whatever hell Dougie had put him through rearing up to claim him, leaving him sweating and shaking on the side of the bed, head in his hands and apologies pouring from his mouth. 

 

Hannibal hated to see him like that, and so had pulled their relationship right back, making sure that there was no pressure, no hint of anything else in any kiss or embrace or the way that Hannibal held him through the night. And that meant no going to bed with a hard on, even though stripping Face and getting him ready for bed did it to him every time, and getting up for an early (solo) shower if he woke up with morning wood.

 

The third job was to look at the photos on the camera that Cy had pressed into his hand as they had headed off to the club. “Thought you’d like these boss,” he’d offered and winked, actually winked at his CO before slipping out the door after the others.

 

It was only as he flicked through the pictures however, that Hannibal understood why. They were all (apart from the obligatory shot of the whole unit pulling a moony...) of Face. Some of the two of them together, all of them candid, and they all just about blew Hannibal’s mind. He knew Face was beautiful, of course he did, he’d known since the first time he set eyes on the boy, but, god almighty, to see these shots, Face in his Army Greens looking happy and relaxed... Hannibal flicked through shot after shot realising his hard on was going absolutely nowhere just yet.

 

So eventually, after looking through the pictures about eight times and constantly flicking back to the one where Hannibal was talking to Rib-eye and Face was standing to the side, just looking at him, Hannibal realised that he could hardly keep his eyes open and decided to head off to bed.

 

__________________

 

Ten minutes later, he was sliding into soft sheets behind Face, his hands reaching out for smooth, warm skin and, knowing Face that was fast asleep, indulging himself in sliding his erection in between firm thighs. He sighed in bliss, just happy in the sensation of closeness that he had been missing for so many weeks and steeled himself to drift off to sleep without anything more. He was starting to float, the day sliding away from him when suddenly Face shifted in his arms and spun around, his own erection pushing hard into Hannibal’s thigh.

 

“Hey, boss,” the huskiness of his voice was impossible to miss.

 

Hannibal flushed and tried to pull back, caught red handed... so to speak.

 

“Kid,” he muttered, embarrassed at the catch in his voice, “I thought you were asleep...”

 

Face was silent for a moment; just rocking his hips ever so slightly into Hannibal’s before he plucked up the courage to speak again. “Why?” he whispered, “Why did you only come to me ‘cause you thought I was asleep?”

 

Hannibal dropped his forehead against Face’s and screwed his eyes shut, caught securely between a rock and a hard place. Did he tell him the truth and bring up all that sexual angst again? Or did he lie and risk the kid thinking he wasn’t desired anymore? As if that would ever happen...

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, choosing instead to be vague and hoping that Face would let it lie.

 

No such luck. He felt Face stiffen in his arms and pull back a bit, trying to make Hannibal’s features out in the dark, “It’s not your fault boss,” he murmured, “I know it must be hard for you, knowing that Dougie...” he stopped, swallowing hard.

 

“Oh, Jesus! Face!” Hannibal almost exploded, “What are you thinking? How can you even consider that anything that’s happened would make even the slightest difference to how I feel about you? Don't you know that I love you? Can’t you tell that in every minute of the day?” His hands were on Face’s cheeks, holding his face, making sure he was looking right into Hannibal’s eyes.

 

“Well,” Face stammered, “I dunno, boss, I mean I do, but, then... well...” his hands slid around Hannibal’s waist, “You’ve not been near me for weeks...” he trailed off.

 

“I’m sorry,” Hannibal repeated, “I was giving you some space, letting you work things out for yourself. Wanted to wait until you were ready.”

 

“I’m ready,” Face ascertained, pushing himself into Hannibal’s thigh a little more insistently.

 

Hannibal bit back a moan at the heat on his skin and a rather delightful plan instantly presented itself to his increasingly lust fuelled brain.

 

“Okay then,” he whispered, his own voice husky now, “How about you top then kid? We’ve never done that before, it might be...” different enough he wanted to say, far enough from what happened with Dougie that you won’t even think about that motherfucker, “hot...” he finished instead.

 

For a second Face was silent and Hannibal wondered if he had made the wrong move, but then he felt hands tighten around his back. “Oh, god, Hannibal... I...”

 

“What kid?” Hannibal murmured, still not sure what was going on here.

 

“You know I’ve never... What if I just fuck it all up?”

 

Hannibal’s teeth ground together as those insecurities showed their heads again, but he just pulled Face into him, “I want to feel you, kid, right inside me where you belong. How can that be anything other than perfect?”

 

Face fell against him, his face pressed into Hannibal’s neck, his words hot against already heated skin, “God, I’d love it to be perfect...”

 

There was so much longing in that sentence, such pure desperation to get over this hurdle in his mind that Hannibal could have cried for him. “It will be,” he whispered instead, hands sliding down to cup his arse through his boxers, “You just wait and see, it’s going to be fucking incredible.”

 

They kissed, slow and deep, both nervous about taking it further, worried that they would ruin the moment, ruin the whole day. Maybe even ruin everything.

 

But slowly the fires built. It had been too long for both of them; too much time spent in such close proximity but not touching. Face was the first to break, suddenly shifting up, swinging his leg over the boss’ so he was kneeling astride him, never breaking their kiss as he leaned forward, grinding their erections together, the front of his shorts getting damper by the second.

 

Hannibal moaned at the heat surrounding him, the hands in his hair, the tongue plundering his mouth, the wonderful friction as Face rocked against him, stoking their passion higher with every movement. He was just letting himself go, just starting to believe that this time everything was going to be alright when he felt it, that almost non-existent tensing of Face’s shoulders, the hesitation in his kiss, the pulling away. Hannibal let him lift his head, but kept his arms wrapped around his lieutenant’s shoulders, stopping him from running. “Come on, Face,” he whispered, “Stay with me kid, you can do this.”

 

Face stopped in his retreat and Hannibal could see his eyes shining wetly in the dark, “Don’t let me go back,” his voice was barely audible, “I don't want to be there, John, I want stay here with you.”

 

Hannibal pulled him in, “I’ve got you, you’re here. With me always. We can do this, you and me, yeah?”

Laying across him, Face nuzzled his neck, letting Hannibal stroke his back, his thighs, his ribs then eventually his ass, squeezing gently, pulling him down, thrusting lightly up to meet him. “You with me, kid?”

 

“Yeah,” Face breathed in his ear.

 

“You want to stop?”

 

“No. I want to do this, Hannibal, I want you.”

 

Hannibal’s cock twitched in response to his words, “Okay,” he whispered, “Stay with me then, kid, and you can have me.”

 

He could hear Face breathing heavily, and slowly he started rocking again, tipping his hips down into Hannibal and Hannibal kept his hands on the kid’s arse, holding him in, moving with him, pulling him closer with each thrust until Face was on his mouth again, pushing his tongue in, letting Hannibal swallow him down, letting him keep him close.

 

Only when Face’s thrusts were getting deeper and more frantic, did Hannibal risk trying to slide his shorts down. Again he felt that tension, but Hannibal moved quickly, tipping Face onto his side so they were lying face to face and slipping his hand inside the kid’s shorts, gripping that hot flesh gently, stroking firmly all the while whispering reassurances to him, “It’s okay, Face, I got you. You feel that? You feel me loving you? Hey? That’s me with you, stay with me...” Face nodded and tipped his forehead onto Hannibal’s collar bone, his breathing harsh and Hannibal couldn’t work it if that was due to arousal or fear. “You with me?”

 

“Yeah,” Face pulled back and in the light falling through the gap in the curtains Hannibal could see his expression and there was fear there, but there was also a desperation, as if he knew that this was it, the moment that saved or condemned their whole relationship, “I need you, boss...”

 

Hannibal took his face in his hands, “You got me, kid, I’m here, just for you.”

 

It was like lighting a touch paper. Face kicked out of his shorts in two seconds flat and tipped Hannibal onto his back once more, pushing his thighs apart and sliding his knees under his boss’ ass. Hannibal reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a little bottle of lube, slicking his hand and reaching out to coat Face as quickly as he could, knowing there was no time for anything more. Face was shaking, his eyes wide and right on the edge of panic but Hannibal kept talking to him, soothing and reassuring as Face lined himself up.

 

Then suddenly he stopped, just as the head of his cock was pressed up against Hannibal’s opening he froze, eyes flicking up to his boss’ face, that panic threatening to overspill in retreat and Hannibal grabbed him. Large hands shot out and gripped Face’s arms tightly, holding him steady as his eyes implored him to trust. “Stay with me, kid,” he whispered. “Come on, Face, I need you too. I need to feel you inside me, I want to be yours, come on. You can do this.”

 

Face shuddered but kept his eyes on Hannibal, “I... don’t... John...”

 

“Please, kid, I’m begging you...”

 

Face’s eyes slid shut and he leaned in, “Oh, god...” and he started to push in.

 

It was slow, Face’s eyes tightly closed and Hannibal couldn’t have that, needed to see him, needed to know that this was something the kid wanted, even though it was so hard to do. “Open your eyes,” he whispered, hands moving from Face’s arms to his cheeks, stroking the soft skin under his eyes, feeling the stubble under his thumbs, “Come on, baby, I need to see you.”

 

Face opened his eyes and offered a shaky smile as the head of his cock breeched the muscle ring at last. Both men sucked in a sharp breath and Hannibal gave a smile in return, “Oh, Jesus, kid, that’s it... Shit...”

 

Leaning forward, Face pushed in a little further, “Okay boss? Like this?”

 

“Fuck, yes...” Hannibal’s face broke into a genuine smile, “You don't know how good this feels to finally have you inside me.”

 

Face pushed in further, his eyes wide still but the panic long chased away; Hannibal gritting his teeth against the burn, but hiding it well, knowing it was a price he would pay twenty times over just for Face to get over this hurdle with him.

 

“Oh, my god,” Face whispered, his arms trembling with the effort of holding himself up, “This is... fucking incredible, boss... You feel so hot, so tight, shit...”

 

It was like a weight was lifted right off Hannibal’s shoulders at those words, he let out the breath he had been holding all this time and felt himself physically relax and give himself over to the whole experience. “Oh, yeah, kid, I know, I know, and you feel, Jesus... so fucking right...”

 

Face kept on pushing in, and Hannibal forced himself to breathe deeply around the burn. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d been taken like this, no preparation, hardly any lube, but this was the first time he didn’t mind, in fact he positively wanted this, wanted to feel every millimetre of Face inside him. Wanted the burn to prove that it was happening; he knew it wouldn’t last.

 

And then, with a last push, Face was there, as far as he could go, balls right up against Hannibal’s ass and they looked at each other, grinning like kids, Hannibal just about ready to burst with happiness. He noticed Face’s arms trembling with  the effort of holding himself up, keeping himself still. “Take some weight on your legs kid,” he whispered.

 

Face shook his head, pulling out slightly, his face a mask of intense concentration, “I’ll hurt you,” he replied shakily.

 

He pushed back in and Hannibal arched and gasped as the burn flared and died, “You’ll hurt me if you collapse on top of me, now take some weight on your legs and start fucking me before I die here!”

 

Breathing out a surprised laugh, Face did as he was told and instantly Hannibal knew this was going to be epic. Once Face didn’t have to concentrate on holding himself in a push-up position, he could really go for this, and he did.

 

He pulled out again, almost all the way this time, eyes down on his groin, staring in open mouthed amazement as he watched his cock, wet and shining in the glare from the lights on the riverside slowly slide out from between Hannibal’s ass. He held himself there for a moment, and just as Hannibal opened his mouth to tell him to get the fuck on with it he slid straight back in, all the way, one smooth push that lit them both on fire.

 

“Oh, god, yeah!”

 

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

 

They both laughed again, but Face didn’t stop, sliding out again, this time watching Hannibal, and shoving himself back in, loving the way that the boss arched under him, pushing up, welcoming him home. It was getting harder and harder to stay slow. “Boss, I...” face’s arms were shaking again, this time, nothing to do with his weight and everything to do with his restraint.

 

“Let go, kid,” Hannibal murmured, remembering saying those words on another night, three months ago before almost losing his boy forever, knowing that Face needed to feel free, that Hannibal needed him to be free.

 

Face let go. His eyes slid shut and he leaned forward a bit, changing his angle, inadvertently catching Hannibal’s prostrate with every inward thrust, and he let his desire take over. Hannibal watched him with wide open eyes, noticing every gasp and every twitch as Face sped up, faster and faster, driving into Hannibal, sweat standing out on his forehead, the bed starting to creak in protest and Hannibal realised he’d never felt so full, so loved and completed ever before in his life.

 

Sliding into a whirling vortex, Face’s world began to narrow down and down until the only thing he was aware of was the incredible sensation of heat and friction around his cock. He’d slept with more women than he could remember, but nothing nothing had ever felt like this and he knew that he would never be able to get enough of it, even if it lasted for the rest of his life. He thrust even harder, vaguely aware of Hannibal whispering his name, telling him how good he was, how incredible this felt, how he wanted more... Face gave him more, he gave him everything he had and then the current caught him and he was lost. He couldn’t stop know, even if he wanted to, even if there was a gun against his head, there would be no way he could stop moving.

 

“Oh, fuck, Face, fuck, I’m gonna come!” Hannibal’s voice reached into his fogged up mind and his eyes flew open in response, watching with open mouthed awe as Hannibal’s untouched cock jerked between their stomachs, shooting pearly white liquid across the boss’ chest, filling Face’s nose with that familiar, musky smell and those sights and sounds and smells all combined to tip Face’s desire into overdrive.

 

His thrusts became wild and uncoordinated, streams of hot nonsense running out of his mouth and he came, ramming himself as far into his boss as he could, giving himself over completely and utterly. “Jesusjesusfuckinghellbossohfuckohfuck!” and Hannibal had tears in his eyes, never having seen anything as beautiful as Face filling him up with the proof of his love before.

 

Face continued to thrust with every spurt of his cock until he was done, physically and emotionally, and then the edges of his vision started to grey a little and he passed out. 

_______________

 

He came to to find himself laid on his back in the bed, sheets arranged neatly over him, warm flannel gently wiping over his face and neck, a hand smoothing back his hair. He opened his eyes.

 

“Hey, Face, baby, you okay?”

 

Hannibal was leaning right over him, the bedside lamp illuminating his worried face, concern evident in his blue eyes. Face smiled at him, “Fuck, boss, never better. That was... intense!”

 

A trace of all that worry slipped from Hannibal’s eyes, “You do that often? That passing out trick?” he continued to wipe over his lover’s face.

 

“Nope,” Face knew he should be embarrassed about the way he’d acted, but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to care, “Only for you, boss, only for you,” he let his eyes slide shut as fatigue caught up with him.

 

Hannibal frowned, “You think it was because you over did it today? Too much going on?”

 

Face cracked an eye open and glared at Hannibal as much as he was capable of in his boneless, blissed out state, “Are you kidding me?” he muttered, “It’s nothing to do with that, it’s because I’ve got the sexiest, most fuckingly awesome incredible lover in the whole damned world. Anyone would pass out.”

 

Hannibal laughed and brushed Face’s hair back again, “Kid, that sentence hardly even made sense...”

 

“Maybe not. But we do, hey?”

 

Their eyes met and three months of tension slowly unfurled from around Hannibal’s heart as he finally realised; yeah, they did.